


My Only Wish

by AoiTsuki1412



Category: Free!
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:32:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4234002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AoiTsuki1412/pseuds/AoiTsuki1412
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been years since Haruka had last seen Rin and he decided to take a visit to Australia on Rin's birthday. Never did he know that something unexpected will happen during his visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my fanfic transferred from Fanfiction.net. Well, people have been talking about this site, so I just want to try out using this site. :) Please be nice~ XP

"Rin… I wonder how are you doing right there…", Haru murmured alone. It had been 6 years since Rin left to achieve his dream, 5 and a half-year since Rin decided to cut off the ties between them but never once Haruka had cast him away from his heart – he just loves him so much that he don't really mind suffering because of him. Haruka let out a heavy sigh upon remembering the day when everything changes in his life. Until now, he didn't really understand why exactly Rin decided to throw him away from his life. Why did Rin decided to break his heart into pieces after giving him such a hope ? What happened to him out there that he changed so much ? All kinds of questions always play in his mind whenever he thought of Rin and he ended up coming with a conclusion. 'He's nothing but a hindrance to Rin.'

After all the years, Haruka had decided to accept the fact that Rin and him are not meant to be together though it took a lot of time and suffering for him to return to his normal self – he still hasn't start swimming though. He stopped swimming right after that incident with Rin, trying to forget him but he couldn't. Even now, he feels sick every time he sees water since water always makes him to remember Rin even more. During the times when his depression is getting worse, he would do anything to get rid of that feeling, mostly hurting himself since he had always thought that everything happened between him and Rin is his fault and hurting himself is a punishment for being such a problem to Rin. Cutting on some parts of his body didn't feels weird anymore since he had gotten used to it.

It all thanks to Makoto that he managed to change before anything worse might happen to him. If Makoto wasn't there for him, he wouldn't know what he'll become by now – he might be dead or being admitted into the psychiatric hospital. Haruka felt guilty to Makoto though since he had gave him a sight that he shouldn't have to see again. He still remembered Makoto's frightened face, even if his sight was blurry that time. He was drowning himself in the bathtub and it would be successful if only Makoto didn't come at the right time. He came into the bathroom and panicked as he saw Haruka lifeless in the bathtub, calling his name and shaking his body. Haruka could hear him; his voice sounds like he is crying and Haruka wanted to sooth him but his body was too weak to respond. He didn't remember what happened after he passed out. He woke up a day later, finding himself lying on the hospital bed with Makoto sitting on the chair, his head resting on the right side of the bed.

Weakly, he forced his hand to reach Makoto's head the caressed it slowly. Makoto immediately woke up to the sudden touch and look at Haruka. He looks so grateful like he was going to lose something very precious before; his eyes were filled with tears while muttering 'I'm glad' like a chant. From that day onwards, Haruka had decided to change himself for the better and since that day, he learnt how to conceal and fake his real feelings completely so that even Makoto wouldn't be able to figure it out – he doesn't want anyone to be hurt and worry because of him anymore. Makoto had been a great support during his downfall and Haruka felt very grateful for that.

'Should I go to Australia to visit Rin ?.', Haruka thought, thinking deeply about it. Since the last 2 months, his urge to see Rin had grown bigger and stronger than before. He doesn't really know why but he felt like he must go and meet Rin as soon as possible or he'll regret it – it's as if he wouldn't have the chance to meet Rin anymore. After thinking about it for a few moments, Haruka decided to book his ticket online. He started up his laptop that was in the hibernate mode then started to search for a suitable date for him to choose. 'Hmm… 2nd February would do. Maybe I can celebrate his birthday too.', Haruka thought while smiling to himself, thinking of what present he'll get for Rin. He is still quite surprised on the changes he had been through.

Celebrating birthdays is so not Haruka-like since he doesn't really like parties but it looks like his Iwatobi gangs changed that part of him – especially Nagisa. Since they often celebrate birthdays in Haruka's house, he became adapted to it. Haruka from once upon a time who didn't really care about birthdays and celebrations became aware of them and not celebrating his friends' birthdays would feel weird for him. It's as if something is missing from his life schedule.

* * *

"Makoto, I'm going to Australia tomorrow." Makoto eyes widen as he heard Haru's statement. He looks at Haruka, his emerald orbs staring straight to another's sapphire orbs. He had never thought that Haruka would make such a decision without telling him earlier. "Why so sudden ?", Makoto asked. Calmly, Haruka closes his eyes and took a sip of his tea then replied with a faint smile plastered on his face, "I don't really know. It's just… I have this strong urge to see Rin…" Makoto kept quiet after hearing Haruka's answer, looking down to his coffee cup. It's not like he doesn't know Haruka's feeling toward Rin but for Haruka to make such random decision just to meet him, his love for Rin is just too strong and reckless. Even after being hurt by Rin all of this time, he never come to hate Rin and Makoto felt very jealous of that. Why can't he, the person who's always there for him be the most special person in his heart ? Why must it be Rin of all people ?

"Haru… can't you ever consider even once to forget about him ? He had been hurting you all this time !", Makoto said, raising his voice a bit as his emotions taking control of him. He had never felt this pissed off before. Haruka just shook his head then looked at Makoto with a sad smile carved on his face. "But Haru ! Can't I-", Makoto tried to convince him but Haruka crossed his words. "No. Please Makoto… I've told you many times before. I'm very thankful that you're always there for me but I'm sorry that I can't requite your feeling. Please understand that." Makoto kept his mouth shut after hearing Haruka's statement. The situation was awkwardly tense between them with no one saying anything.


	2. Chapter 2

To : Tachibana Makoto

Subject : Thanks & Sorry For Everything

I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I hope that you could accept my decision. I love you but not more than a best friend. I can't see you as someone more than that even if I try.

Thanks a lot for all the help and support you had given all this time. Honestly, I might not be able to keep on living without your help and I don't like that. I feel like I'm a burden to you and your family even though you said that I'm not. I hope that you'll found someone worthy of your kindness and love.

Sorry for being a bad friend to you.

-Haru

* * *

 

To : Hazuki Nagisa

Subject : I'm Going

Nagisa, I'm going to Australia to see Rin. Thanks for those advices you sent to me before – they're not bad at all though they're a bit weird. Thanks for all of your help.

P.S : Don't make Rei angry so often. He'll look old faster. You wouldn't want that.

-Haru

* * *

 

To : Ryugazaki Rei

Subject : I'm Going

I'm going to Australia to see Rin. Wish me luck ! Good luck for your new experiment. I saw the news in the TV.

P.S : Don't be too strict to Nagisa. You should pamper him sometimes.

-Haru

* * *

 

Haruka turned off his phone right after he sent all the messages to them. He left his house quite early since he didn't want to meet Makoto in his way to the station. It's not like yesterday's was the first time he fought with Makoto but the situation is always awkward after the fight. He needs a few days to be able to greet Makoto and apologize to him properly. The flight will take off in a few minutes and Haruka feels very anxious – anxious on what will happen during the flight, what will happen when he meet Rin, what will be Rin's reaction upon seeing him. He closed his eyes, letting his sleepiness to take over him during the flight, trying to dream of his sweet moments with Rin.

* * *

 

A sound of shattered glass suddenly came to Rin's hearing while he was reading. Irritated by the sudden sound that disturbed his concentration, he went out of his room to see what happened. He looked around the living room to search for that shattered thing and found a shattered glass on the floor – it's Haruka's handmade glass that was given to Rin as a departing gift before he went to Australia. 'Darn it… Why couldn't anything else dropped down instead of this one ?', Rin cursed in his mind. He took the broom and the scoop from the store then swept away the glasses, throwing it the sharp shattered glass away into the rubbish bin.

The thought of people's saying that something bad will likely happen to someone if something related to that person is broken without any logical reason kept playing in his mind. Rin tried to drive away that thought from his mind but he couldn't – something bad might happen to Haruka and he somehow could feel something bad will happen. Even though Rin had cut off his ties with Haruka, he won't want anything bad happen to him. As he's worrying about Haruka, he suddenly realized that he didn't remember how long it was since his last contact with ex-lover and he never knows what happened to his friends in Iwatobi since that time – he couldn't register when he stopped taking care about those. Since when had he became so oblivious towards his friends, especially about Haruka ? How and when did he even get a girlfriend to replace Haruka in his life anyway ?

"Get out of my mind, Haru ! You're always distracting me !", Rin shouted as he felt very frustrated when thinking about Haruka. He didn't know what had gotten into him when he decided to cut off the ties between them. He loves Haruka and he regretted his decision. He thought that forgetting Haru will make him move on but he was wrong – nothing really changed after that. His swimming never improved and he ended up being a police officer instead of an Olympic swimmer. Rin closed his eyes then as he was about to fall asleep, his doorbell suddenly rang. He forced himself to get up from bed, then lazily walked to the door and talked at the intercom, "Who is it ?"

"It's Elisa ! Open up !", a girl replied. Rin opened the door then he was greeted with a big hug from her.

"Hey… What's with that sudden hug, babe ?", Rin said with a grin on his face.

"It's your birthday ! Happy Birthday, Rin !", the girl said then snuggled even more on Rin's chest.

"Really ? I forgot…"

"Yep ! I got a present for you ! Look ! A pair of matching necklaces for both of us !"

"T-thank you."

"No problem ! Now… let me put it around your neck !", Elisa said excitedly.

Rin lowered his body so that she can put it around his neck easily. He imagined that he would be happier if he could to this with Haruka – wearing the same rings, necklaces or bracelets as a symbol of their relationship. It's not like he doesn't feel happy with Elisa being his girlfriend but he still prefer Haruka instead of her. 'Haru… I wish that you're here…', Rin thought. Elisa had done putting the necklace around his neck and she looks very happy that the necklace suits Rin. Suddenly, his doorbell rang again. "Seriously ! Why would the doorbell rings so much today ?!" Elisa giggled seeing Rin's reaction to the doorbell.

"Who is it ?"

"It's me."

"Who the hell are you ? Do you think I would know who you are with that crappy answer ?"

"It's… Nanase… Haruka…"

Rin's eyes widen as he heard the reply. Nanase Haruka ? Is that how his voice sounded before ? He had totally forgotten about that. 'Wait… What is he doing here ?' Haruka is right in front of his door. It felt like a dream and his brain couldn't process the sudden situation he's in that he froze in front of the intercom for quite a while. "You're taking too much time, Rin ! Who is it ?", Elisa came toward Rin, pouting.

"It's just an old friend of mine. Not important."

"An old friend ?! Let's go and greet him !", Elisa hugged Rin's arm then cheerfully dragged him to the door.

"Elisa, let me go !"

"Come on… I really wanted to meet your friend !", Elisa said while opening the door.

"H-hello…", Haruka awkwardly greeted the pair in front of him. His heart is aching like it's been stabbed from the inside. 'I thought so… He replaced 'you', Haruka…', he thought, mocking himself in his mind. He realized that he was waiting and hoping like an idiot for Rin to come back to him all this time. Makoto was right and he knew it. He should've listened to him but he didn't want to. It won't hurt like this if he did listen to Makoto's advice – he knew it but he chose to be oblivious of it. 'Wait… You've decided to accept your fate, so calm down Haru.' He put on a fake smile then continued his greeting. "I'm Nanase Haruka. Rin's friend." Faking his emotions is not a problem for him after all that happened to him – after all this years he learned that camouflaging is the best way to get out of his problems.


	3. Chapter 3

"Come on in ! I would love to know more about Rin's old friend !", Elisa invited him in. Rin didn't protest since his girlfriend won't ever follow what he says. Haruka walked into the house then sit on the sofa, waiting for Elisa to prepare some tea and snacks. No one started any conversation during the wait – everything feels so awkward. Haruka managed to take a look around the living room, examining every inches of the space and the things arranged on the shelves, searching for something he might recognized, something that holds his memories, but he couldn't find anything like that. Either Rin had thrown them away, or he put them in his bedroom, Haruka wouldn't know. "Hey, Haruka ! Your eyes look so beautiful ! They look like two pools of clear blue water !", Elisa said while bringing a tray with 3 cups of tea and some snacks. She put it down carefully on the table then served the tea.

"T-thank you… Many people had said that but I don't think my eyes are that amazing"

"No ! They're amazing ! I had never seen such eyes before."

"Owh… Thanks again…"

"Do you love to swim like Rin ?"

"Yeah… but I only do freestyle.", Haruka replied then took a sip of the tea.

Haruka took a chance to glance a bit at Rin but to his disappointment, he didn't look at him at all. 'He must have hated me so much that he didn't even care to look at me.' His eyes trailed from Rin's face, down to his neck – a necklace with a shark-shaped pendant is hanging down his neck. He looked back at Elisa. 'She's wearing the same necklace – a pair of couple's necklaces. How nice…' He involuntarily carved out a sad smile, looking down at his reflection in the tea cup. 'Well, I'm not a pretty girl to begin with. The only girly thing on me is my name.', he smirked, mocking himself. How he wished that he could wear those kinds of things with his loved one.

"Haruka-kun ? What's wrong ?", Elisa asked.

"N-nothing at all… Elisa-chan… Can I borrow your boyfriend for today ? I promise I'll send him back before midnight.", Haru said with a pleading look in his eyes.

"Sure. Why not ? You must have missed him a lot don't you ?", Elisa replied with a sweet smile on her face.

"Thank you."

* * *

From the time he came, until they went out together after getting Elisa's permission, Rin had stayed quiet. He didn't know how to react with this sudden situation. The guy he had thrown away from his life is right beside him, acting like nothing had happened between them. Most importantly, why did he suddenly decided to visit ? Rin has a lot of questions to ask but he didn't know how to convey them – he didn't even know how to start a conversation between them. Haruka is not helping at all by being mute along the way from Rin's apartment. Annoyed with the situation, Rin finally break off the silence with a question.

"So… What are you doing here in Australia ?", he asked with an irritated tone. He moved his gaze from the cars on the street to Haruka when he realized that the black-haired boy isn't paying attention to him. He seems like in the middle of thinking something, his gaze fixed on the ground. Rin couldn't help but stare at him – it had been years since he had last saw Haruka's face. Even after 6 years, his physical features don't change a lot. 'He's a bit thinner than usual though…', Rin thought. It took him quite a long time to realize that he was staring at Haruka a lot. "Oi ! Didn't you hear what I was saying ?!", Rin shouted, stopping behind Haruka.

"Oh, sorry… I was thinking…"

"Geez… I was asking what are you doing here !"

"Visiting you, of course. I wanted to celebrate your birthday too.", Haruka replied with a smile.

"Celebrating… my birthday ? Did your friends' idiocy affected you ?", Rin asked, lowering his face.

'What a tsundere… You, yourself like celebrating birthdays too...', Haruka thought. "I guess so… but I ended up liking that idiocy… So, where do you want to go for your birthday ?"

"Where ? Hmm… Swimming pool.", Rin replied.

"Don't you want to do anything besides swimming ?"

"No. I wanted to race you today. It had been a long time since we swam together. I'm kind of missing how it feels when racing you.", Rin said turning his face to the other side when saying the last sentence of his words, not wanting Haruka to see his a bit flushed face.

"You're still the same cute shark after all… with only swimming stuck in your mind every time you see me.", Haruka said then chuckled – he knew really well what kind of face Rin's making even if he didn't show him, even though they spent their time together only for a year. "Well, I missed you too… A lot…", Haruka continued talking with a sweet smile on his face.

Rin's eyes widened as he heard Haruka's statement and he could feel that his cheeks are burning. Haruka was calling him with the nickname that he hasn't heard since 6 years ago and he's telling him that he missed him a lot – Rin felt so happy but at the same time, he's feeling guilty. Guilty for leaving him behind, for cutting the ties between them, for replacing him with someone else and for letting him see the sight of him and his girlfriend right in front of his eyes. But Haruka doesn't seem to hate him at all – he seems like he's accepting all of the things that happened really easily. As he suddenly felt a firm grip on his left hand, he immediately turned his face to Haruka – he is smiling the most beautiful smile Rin had ever seen from him after all these years.

"Well… It's okay if I hold your hand like we used to do before just for today, right ?", Haruka asked.

"I-I guess so…", Rin replied, his face is turning towards the roadside. He didn't want Haruka to see his face since he knew that he's blushing so hard by the time being.

Their journey to the aquatic center was full of stories from Haruka. He told Rin all that happened in Iwatobi, about Makoto, about Nagisa, about Rei, about coach Sasabe's swimming center – all that happened in those 6 years Rin left. Haruka told him everything except his life story which makes Rin feels so curious. 'So… Makoto becomes a firefighter, Nagisa becomes an astronaut and Rei becomes a scientist… Nothing related to swimming…', Rin thought then asked Haruka a question. "Hey, what have you become ? A national swimmer ?" Haruka immediately lowered his head upon hearing Rin's question. "No… I'm just a chef in a small restaurant. Not as fancy as a national swimmer." Rin noticed Haruka's sudden silence and replied, "Well, I'm not a national or Olympic swimmer anyway. I'm a police officer." Haruka's eyes widen as he heard Rin's reply as he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He really wanted to know the reason behind Rin's decision but he couldn't make his self to ask. 'Rin must have his own reason', he thought. The rest of the journey was only filled with chattering from the other passengers and the sound from the passing and honking vehicles as none of them continued to speak.


	4. Chapter 4

The memories of them from the first time they came to the aquatic center came rushing through Haruka's mind as they stepped into the enormous building. He still remembered that time when Rin brought him to the aquatic center to encourage him to find his dream and he did found one – swimming as a professional swimmer with Rin – but the dream had completely shattered right after Rin decided to cut off their ties. He took a glance at Rin who is walking beside him, observing his features. 'He's still the same… but maybe he looks a bit adult… His body is still the same muscular one even though he's not a swimmer by now… He really loves to work out, huh ?', Haruka thought.

"Oi ! Haru ! How long are you going to stare ?", Rin asked.

"Owh, sorry… I was just… Well, you look a bit adult than before.", Haru replied with a faint blush colouring his cheek.

"I-Is that so ? Well, I'm already 24 anyway. It's only you who didn't change even a bit."

"I guess so…"

"Well then, lets hurry up and get changed.", Rin said, patting Haruka's back lightly then ran into the locker room excitedly.

"Your behavior didn't change much though…", Haruka muttered while smiling, walking into the locker room.

By the time he entered the room, Rin had already stripped into his swimming suit; Haruka can see how eager Rin is to race with him. Haruka placed his bag on the bench beside him, then started to strip his shirt but stopped half-way as he suddenly remembered that his body is full of scars he had carved before – he didn't want Rin to see those scars. Seeing Haruka frozen in his place, Rin came closer to him.

"What's wrong ?", he asked, concerned.

"N-nothing…", Haruka replied. 'It's just for today, right ? I'm doing this for Rin… I have to swim for him today.'

Slowly, Haruka removed his shirt, hoping that Rin wouldn't bother to ask about those scars even though he realizes that there's no way Rin wouldn't ask about it – Rin might look and act like he doesn't care but he's actually a very caring person. As he finished removing his shirt, he could feel a warm hand grabbing his wrist, lifting it up.

"Haru… What's this ?",Rin asked.

"A scar ?", Haruka replied bluntly.

"Did you…"

"Yeah… I've tried it a few times before… but I had completely stopped doing that a few years ago."

"Why ? Was it because of me ?", Rin asked with a guilty tone in his voice.

"No… It was just me… Well, sometimes life's hard."

"I'm sorry…", Rin said, hugging Haruka tightly with his eyes full of tears. "I shouldn't have done that to you… Sorry… I was so selfish…"

"It's okay, Rin…", Haruka said, patting Rin's back gently. He could feel Rin's warmth all over his body; the warmth that had long gone before, the warmth that he missed a lot. "Hey, Rin… Stop crying already, okay ? Aren't you an 'adult' already ?"

Rin didn't reply, continuing to hug Haruka as if he'll disappear if he pulls away from the hug. Rin really regretted it and he wished that the time could be reversed back to the moment before he made the stupidest decision in his life but sadly, there are no such wishes.

* * *

The race ended with a draw; 5 wins for Rin and 5 wins for Haruka. As always, Rin feels amazed by Haruka's ability to improve his speed over time – the faster Rin swims, the faster Haruka swims. Now that they had finished having fun with the race, they went to grab something to eat at a restaurant suggested by Haruka. Rin had been persistent in asking Haruka where he's taking him but he didn't reply anything. He just said that he had already booked the restaurant just for them and he couldn't cancel the reservation. After quite a while, they arrived at the restaurant – it's a small and simple country-styled restaurant, decorated with a mix of British and Japanese touch. Rin had come to the restaurant a few times before and he loves the dishes served in the restaurant since they always reminds him about Haruka. The atmosphere of the restaurant felt different than usual, maybe because there are no other customers inside, just the two of them, sitting at a round table suited for a couple with candles lighting the room. 'This feels like a date. An awkward one… I should keep the conversation flowing.', Rin thought.

"It was the best race I had ever have after all this years, you know ?", Rin said, breaking the awkward silent situation.

"Yeah… I'm glad that you like the race. Even without training, I'm still the fastest, huh ?", Haruka replied then chuckled at the end of his sentence.

"As if ! I'm faster than you. Those 5 wins you got was just a coincidence since I'm being considerate for you."

"Pfft… Hopeless winning-complex shark…", Haruka mocked.

"I'm not, water-freak !", Rin denied. He really missed chatting with Haruka, though most of the time the chat turns into arguments. "Hmm… I'm surprised that you know my favourite place to eat…", Rin muttered.

"You love to eat here ? I didn't know that.", Haruka asked, feeling surprised.

"Huh ? Really ? I thought that you specially booked this place because you know about that."

"Nope… I booked this place since it's mine. I can do anything with my property.", Haruka explained, resulting Rin's crimson orbs to widen.

"This… is yours ?", Rin asked curiously.

"Didn't I just tell you ? You're thinking that I'm making stories, don't you ?", Haruka replied with a pout in his face.

"N-No! I didn't ! I just… Well, no wonder the foods served here always bring me a nostalgic feeling."

"Owh… I opened this branch 2 years ago. I thought I want to see you that time… but I didn't have my courage to see you back then."

"I'm sorry…"

"It's okay… Now, could you wait patiently here ? I'll be your chef for today, so I'm going to cook something for you."

"Great ! I got a special treatment from the head chef and the owner of the restaurant. I'm demanding for meat ! No mackerel !", Rin said excitedly, earning a small laugh from Haruka.

"Of course you wouldn't want that…"

* * *

After an hour, Haruka came out with a few servings of food on the food trolley and the most eye-catching thing on it is a beautiful birthday cake with a shark and dolphin ornament situated on top of it. When Rin observed it thoroughly, the shark and the dolphin somehow forms a heart shape in between them. 'Did Haru purposely put that ?', Rin thought as he felt curious. He knows that it's selfish of him to hope that Haruka still love him but he couldn't resist the probability that the fact is true since from what he observed from Haruka, it seems like he still loves him and Rin doesn't want to waste this chance to get him back, to repay what he had done years before, to requite Haruka's love and the most important thing is to restart his relationship with Haruka.

"Sorry for the wait.", Haruka apologized as he serves the dishes on the table.

"It's okay."

"Here's your meal. Hamburg steak is fine, right ? This one's the one I always make for you before."

"Y-yeah… You still remember…"

"Of course I am… I'm not that old to forget things easily. As you could see, I look younger than you.", Haruka replied, pouting.

"Tch… That only means that you're not growing up at all !", Rin tried to protest against Haruka's statement.

"I'm fine with that… So, Rin. Make your wish then blow the candle on top of the cake, please."

"Geez… This is embarrassing…"

Rin closes his eyes, trying to figure out what will he wish for, what did he really wanted to; is it to be a professional swimmer, to win in Olympics or to reverse the time back to the time before he went to Autralia. Rin thought about it over and over but he found that the answer is not one of those. He's fine with not being a professional swimmer since the police job suits him well and reversing time is the most impossible thing. So, instead of looking at his past, Rin decided to look at the present and the future where he's going to move forward to. He can still win Haruka's heart if what he thought – about Haruka still loving him – is true. 'I wish that Haruka would accept me back into his heart.', Rin wished then blew the candles.

"You took too long just to make a wish.", Haruka commented as Rin opened his eyes.

"Well, I have lots of thing to wish for and I have to short-list them.", Rin replied.

"Is that so ? What did you wished for then ?", Haruka asked curiously but Rin didn't answer.

All that Rin did is keeping his mouth shut, thinking whether he should tell Haru or not. Both of the choices hold the advantages and the disadvantages – if he tells Haruka, then either he will be rejected or accepted and if he doesn't tell anything, then he won't have to deal with the pain of being rejected but his chance to start over will disappear.

"I wished that… you'll accept me back into your heart.", Rin finally said, resulting a shocked emotion coming from the smaller boy in front of him.

Rin could see that tears started to form in the wide clear-blue eyes and slowly, the tears flows down Haruka's cheeks. Rin stretched out his hand across the table then tried to wipe the tears away from his cheeks but it seems like it didn't stop to flow out of his eyes and it breaks Rin's heart. He had never seen Haruka crying before and he didn't know how to stop it. 'Did Haru cried a lot when I left him ? I have to try something…', Rin thought then stood up, making his way to the back of Haruka's chair and then hugged him soothingly.

"Haru… It's okay… I was just wishing… It's okay if you don't want to though… I won't force you. Please stop crying…", Rin said with a gentle tone, trying to calm Haruka.

"N-no… I really wanted to be with you…"

"Really ? Then-", Rin said but Haruka cut his words.

"I really wished that you said that earlier… but you know what, Rin ? You had never left my heart to begin with. You're always the one inside it, the only one who holds the key of my heart. I loved you and I always will but I think it's too late for now. You already have Elisa, right ? You have to treasure her well."

"But-"

"If you really love me… then love her with all your heart. Give her what she deserves and don't ever hurt her feelings. That's all for my request."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh... Sorry for the very late update... ^^" This story has long ended in fanfiction.net actually... I totally forgot that I have an account here... I'll end this story here in AO3 today... Uh... Sorry again... ^^"

The atmosphere between them has turned silent since Haruka told Rin about his request – none of them tried to talk as both of them are re-thinking if their decision was right. Was it right for Rin to confess his wish to Haruka and was it right for Haruka to turn Rin's offer down ? Rin stared at their intertwined hands, feeling sad that he have to let go of that smaller hand soon. Rin wished that the time would just stop for that moment or the time would pass slower so that they won't reach his house in a short time but somehow, his wish was not granted. As they arrived in front of Rin's house door, Haruka just stood in front of the door while Rin is entering the house. Rin turned his body facing Haruka, wanting to observe his features, carving it deep in his mind before Haruka started to leave but it's not enough – he wanted more.

"Won't you come in ? It's only 10. Your promise was until midnight, right ?", Rin said, inviting Haruka to enter his house.

"Well then… Sorry for the intrusion…", Haruka said while entering the house.

"Let's go to my room. We'll have our talk there…"

"O-okay…"

Along the way to Rin's room, Haruka took his chance to observe his house again. As he could see, Rin is a much disciplined person as his house looks so tidy and clean. Maybe that feature had been developed during his high school years – he's the swimming club captain after all. If the captain is a crap, then how would the other members follow his instruction anyway ? His leadership capabilities are the things that Haruka most admired in him; it's like Rin could do anything and lead others to do things the right way. 'And that's why, I also ended up following his step, huh ?', Haruka thought.

"Never expected that your room would look so tidy and clean like this… I had always thought it'll be messy…", Haruka mocked.

"Huh ? Do you want to pick a fight, Haru ?!", Rin replied, feeling irritated.

"So, what will we going to find in our adventure today ? As you could see, we're in a 'shark's' lair. An 'emotional' shark's lair to be precise.", Haruka talked as if he's in a discovery show, walking around the room to search something interesting to tease Rin. He doesn't like it when Rin turned silent – an active and grumpy attitude suits Rin the best and he doesn't mind being in an argument with Rin.

"Oi ! Don't just wander around my room to mess with my stuff without my permission !", Rin protested, following Haruka wherever he walked around the room.

"Hmm... I guess it's here…", Haruka murmured while his hands are busy searching for something under Rin's bed. "I found it ! The emotional shark's porn book !", he said in excitement while holding the books high with his eyes sparkling, just like a kid who just found a treasure.

"Oi ! That's - ! Give it to me !", Rin shouted then walked towards Haruka in a fast pace but Haruka quickly walked away before Rin even managed to get closer. The faster Rin walked, the faster Haruka tried to get away from him until it comes to the point where they're practically running around the room. As a last resort, Haruka climbed on the table then stood on top of it, knowing that Rin won't dare to get on top of the table in fear that the table will break.

"Then, all of you~ I'm going to reveal the shark's favourite type ! It's…", Haruka said, then opened the book and to his surprise, the page is full of his pictures. "Err… I opened the wrong book… Then we go to the next book ! It's…", he said the opened the book again but the result is still the same and he could feel that he's glowing red by that time. Slowly, he stepped down from the table the sit at the corner of the room, hugging his knees while hiding his face. Rin didn't do anything; he just observed the dolphin's reactions with a grin on his face.

"Found what you wanted, researcher ?", Rin mocked, heading towards Haruka.

"No… I don't…", Haruka replied in a low voice.

"Really~?", Rin asked playfully.

"Who the heck keeps pictures of his friend as a collection for his own porn book, anyway ?!", Haruka raised his voice a bit. "I-it's embarrassing… a-and… w-when did you take those pictures, anyway ? It's unfair, you know ?", he continued talking, his face is still glowing red.

"Ah… Those… It's just because… my favourite type is only you…", Rin muttered then shortened the distance between his body and Haruka's until there's about only 1 cm left between them. Gently, he put both of his hands on Haruka's cheeks and then lifted his face up to see him in his eyes. 'God… He's freaking cute…', Rin thought then pull Haruka's face towards his and kissed him. Haruka jolted to the sudden kiss but he eventually give in, allowing Rin's tongue to easily enter his mouth – Rin's kiss is irresistible and he had missed those pair of lips sealing his. Their tongues are fighting for dominance, but naturally, Rin's would be the dominant one. When both of them are losing their breath, they pulled away to catch a breath.

"H-hey… I don't… ha… think we should do this…", Haruka said.

"Huh ? But…", Rin said then took a deep breath. "You were just letting me do it, right ? If you like it then say so…"

"I-I…"

"Please… Haru… Just this once…", Rin pleaded.

"Fine… Just this once… I'll let you do whatever you want to… There won't be any next time… right ?", Haruka replied, giving his agreement but somehow, Rin could sense a hint of sadness in his voice. Rin pushed the smaller guy in front of him gently to the floor, pinning him down with his stronger right hand put on a force on Haruka's wrists so that they won't move freely.

"O-oi ! Rin ! I didn't agree with this !", Haruka said, trying to struggle but failed as Rin's stronger than him.

"You said you'll let me do anything I want, right ? You're the one setting the trap for yourself.", Rin said, grinning.

"I just meant the kiss…"

"Now… now… no running away from your decision~~", Rin said as he bring his face closer to Haruka's.

* * *

 

_"It's time…"_

Haruka jolted awake as he heard the voice. "Wh-Where am I ?", he muttered, observing the dark room then let out a relieved sigh as he remembered that he is staying in Rin's room. 'I'm still alive…', he thought then took a look at the slightly larger person sleeping soundlessly beside him. "You're always so demanding…", Haruka said to the person beside him, caressing his hair gently and carefully so that he won't wake the sleeping shark up. They ended up having sex as a result of his own unintentional agreement but Haruka didn't hate it. Even how many times he convinced himself that he shouldn't, he couldn't help but to accept it anyway since he had really missed it; Rin's touch, warmth, body, sweet voice, beautiful crimson eyes, skillful tongue, everything. He missed everything about Rin. "If only…", Haruka murmured but didn't continue his words.

Slowly and quietly, he get up from his lying position then get down from the bed, walking towards the bathroom with his clothes in his arms. He needs to get out of Rin's house before Rin wakes up. 'Why do I need to clean up anyway ? I'll just disappear after this, right ?', Haruka thought, cancelling his intention to use Rin's bathroom. He walked back to the bed, observing the sleeping crimson-head, carving his face deeply into his memory.

_"Hurry up…"_

Haruka frowned as he heard the voice. He knows that he needs to say farewell to Rin as soon as possible – there's no need for the voice owner to remind him of that. Haruka grabs his bag, taking out a box wrapped beautifully in a crimson coloured wrapping, putting it on Rin's desk with a letter beside the box. Done with the present, he walked towards Rin for the last time. "Rin… I have to go… I won't be able to see you anymore…", Haruka said with a smile on his face. He tried to stay calm but his eyes betrayed him – he can't stop the tears from flowing. "I… After this… I won't become a hindrance to you anymore…", he continued speaking then gave a kiss on Rin's cheek. "Rin… I love you… I always will…"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the last chapter... Enjoy~ ^^

_"Rin… I love you… I always will…"_

Rin woke up with those words echoing in his mind. Slowly, he opened his sleepy eyes, and then took a look at his side only to find out that the person who had slept beside him last night nowhere to be found. The spot beside him doesn't seem like there was actually someone who slept on it. "Maybe he's in the bathroom…", Rin murmured, walking his way towards the bathroom with a positive mind but to his disappointment, he couldn't see anyone in there. "Haru ! Where are you ?!", Rin shouted while walking downstairs, towards the kitchen, then heading to the living room but he couldn't see even a hint of another living being inside the house.

"You should have told me before you leave, idot !", Rin shouted as loud as he could, trying to relieve his frustrated feeling. He couldn't believe that Haruka just left him without any goodbyes. Rin at least wanted to hug him and maybe adds a few kisses before he depart. Rin let out a heavy sigh then walked back upstairs to take a bath as he felt very uncomfortable with his body.

Rin immersed himself into the cold water, letting the water to sooth his entire body. Somehow, he unusually feels like he wanted to stay inside the water for as long as he wanted. 'Hmm… It'll be great if we can actually take a bath together….', Rin thought, imagining what will they do if they're going to be in the bath together. Since the bathtub is not too big, the water-lover guy would most probably complain about it and tells Rin to get out from it so that he could enjoy the water all to himself while Rin would play his stubborn role as always, not moving away from his spot. And perhaps they'll help each other to clean up their body. It had been too long since Rin last felt Haruka's skillful fingertips massaging the shampoo on his head soothingly, and sometimes he'll put on the conditioner after shampooing even though Rin told him not too. Well, he might say don't but he'll let him do it anyway as he could never resist the temptation of Haruka's massage.

Rin on the other hand, will just shampoo Haruka's head as usual since he's not particularly good in massages. "Ah… I miss his round and small head…", Rin muttered, his mind recalling those memories he had together with the raven-haired guy. Instead of helping each other to clean up, they might ended up having sex and that had happened a few times before – of course, the one who would initiate it is Rin, since everything about the dolphin is alluring and Rin's heart is not strong enough to resist the attraction. His eyes, his small mouth, his sharp nose, his slender yet muscular build, Rin loves all of them. "Why do you have to leave, Haru ?"

* * *

"8 a.m already ? Did I just spent too much time in the bathroom ?", Rin asked himself as he stares at the clock on his desk. As his eyes traveled away from the clock, he saw a small box sitting not far from the clock – the present left by Haruka. Slowly, he reached the box, unwrapping it with full of care and then gasped at the sight of the thing contained in the box. He had never thought that the stoic looking guy will give him such a romantic present. The present is as simple as the person who bought them, a ring made out of gold with the word 'My Cute Shark' carved at the back of it. Without wasting his time, he took the letter placed beside the box then read it.

* * *

_Dear Rin,_

_I know that writing something like this to you is weird, and yeah… the gift I left for you is out of my character. The ring's pair is a silver one with the word 'Your Water-freak'. I'll keep it with me. Anyway, I hope that you'll like it. It's your gold medal from me. Congratulations for winning my heart, trust and loyalty. Because of you, I experienced lots of things that I couldn't understand back then. Happiness, sadness, effort and even hardships, you taught me all about them._

_Falling in love with you is the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced in my life. I had always thought that falling in love only exists in dramas, novels, anime and manga. I had always thought that I'm not going to experience the feeling of falling in love and I had never thought that someone will actually fall in love with me. I'm glad that the person I fell in love with is also the one who loves me back. This letter seems weird, doesn't it ? I couldn't bring myself to stop my feelings from overflowing in this letter. There are lots of things I wanted to tell you but I don't know how put them in words._

_Did you know that I cried like crazy when you told me to cut off our ties ? That was the first time in my life realizing that breaking a bond you had carefully nurture with love hurts so much. I did took the news in a bad way but I stopped and the result is, I met you safe and sound right ? You don't have to feel guilty about it. It's my own fault for not coping with my problems in a good way._

_If you ever have your time to visit Iwatobi, why don't you see Makoto, Nagisa and Rei. I'm sure that they missed you a lot too. About me, you don't have to go to my house. I won't be there. I'm moving out for some family reason and you don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine living in a new place. It's me after all._

_Well then, I don't know what to write in this letter anymore. I'll always wish for your happiness. Hey, Rin. If you meet me someday, would you reach out for me ? Will you bring me back to your side ? Would you love me back the way you loved me back then ? I know I'm being selfish but I hope that you will. I love you._

_With love,_

_Haruka_

* * *

"H-Haru… I… love you too…", Rin muttered, sobbing with his eyes full of tears. He couldn't help but crying upon reading the letter. Haruka had never stopped loving him but he betrayed his feelings and he lied to his own heart. He loves Haruka but he chose to trick his heart to stop loving him. He had cast away the happiness he once owned just for the sake of his dream. "I'm the worst…", he muttered again then wiped his tears away as he heard his doorbell ringing rapidly.

"Rin !", Elisa greeted frantically then hugged Rin tight.

"What's wrong ? Did you just saw a ghost ?", Rin asked dryly.

"Not today but yesterday !", she said while her hands are busy tapping on her smartphone.

"Huh ?"

"Look at this news !", she said, showing her phone to Rin.

Rin took his time reading the entire news article, trying to process the facts spread out in it, rereading each sentences as many times as he wanted but in the end, he couldn't believe them at all. How could such thing happen to him while he was enjoying the best birthday in his life blissfully with that clear-blue-eyed guy ? "His plane crashed on the way coming to Australia ? Nonsense… He was here with me…", he muttered, his right hand grabbing a handful of his hair. He feels like he's going to turn crazy especially when he reads the sentence stating about the passengers – none of the passengers is alive but their body are safely found except for a certain Japanese guy in his twenty who went missing. "Haru is dead ? No… He's not… He's just missing…"

"Rin ! Snap out of it already ! He's certainly dead… Denying his death is not going to make it any better."

"No… He's not… He told me to search for him..."

"Rin ! Please don't act like this !", Elisa begged him.

"Hey… I have to tell you something…"

* * *

The cherry blossoms blooms to the fullest by the time he came, the scent of the air is as fresh as he ever breathes in before. Everything doesn't seem to change a lot even after 8 years passed. The only changes are the new buildings built replacing the old ones and a special restaurant situated not far from the center of the town. He smiled at the sight of the restaurant as he suddenly remembered the memories he had a few years ago in the restaurant. He made his way, straight towards a house he hasn't visit for quite a long time – an old traditional house made from wood. As he stopped in front of the house, he decided to enter the house later after he visited an important person in his life. The house can wait later since he had been given the right to own it anyway. Turning away from the house, he then heads to the place he doesn't really wanted to visit – the Nanase's family cemetery.

The cemetery is not really far from the house. Just take a few minutes upstairs from the house and you'll find it situated at the top. He gathered up his courage then walked towards a tomb, carved on it the name of the grave's owner, 'Nanase Haruka'. He hated the sight of it; he doesn't want to see it. It's cruel to just decide that he's dead just because they couldn't find his body and he doesn't want to acknowledge it. He'll keep his promise.

"It's okay, Haru. I'll find you. No matter how hard and how impossible it will be, I'll reach out to you and bring you back to my side. I'll love you the way you deserves it. I swear on the ring you've given to me. So please wait for me again. I'll definitely do it right this time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for spending your time to read this fanfic ! :)

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapters will be uploaded soon. :) Feel free to leave a comment~


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